A new routine

Being home with my two kiddos has been a crazy switch up to the routine that I'm used to but I love it! There are definitely days where I don't know how I'll make it to nap time, or how we'll all survive until Daddy gets home but overall we're learning to settle into our new routines without work, daycare and having Cora home with us. Our Little Miss is two months old now and a smiley little thing, but of course she's very coy around the camera.

Our day starts early, with Cora and I up around 5 for her to nurse and I start the coffee. Usually, I try to have her back down in our room by 5:45 so that I can be at the gym by 6 am and get the bulk of my workout done. Ryker gets up around 7 and will play in his room until Vic frees our little monster for breakfast! I get back to the house around 8 and help Vic get out the door while trying to clean up after the tornado mess that the boys create in the morning. Cora usually nurses again around then and Ryker and I settle in for the Today show on the TV and either Mickey Mouse or Dinosaur Train on my computer for him.

Ryker, Cora and I play in their room until nap time, unless I'm brave enough to take everyone out for an adventure. I generally try to make sure that any out of the house excursions are planned to get the kids home by noon so that Ryker can get his nap in. This also gives me time in the afternoon to get the stuff around the house done since he usually sleeps for close to three hours. We've gone to the aquarium, the big park nearby and made many trips to Target for our adventures lately, learning to successfully get out of the house with both kids without forgetting anything has been a huge feat for me and I'm proud to say that I haven't forgotten diapers in the last week, haha.

I made myself a schedule, being the planner that I am, to organize my day and week around the house while the kids nap so I don't get stuck sitting on the couch and watching HGTV all day. Every day I tackle vacuuming the living areas, cleaning the kitchen, making our bed and doing one load of laundry. Then, each day has it's own assignment. For instance, Monday is master bathroom day, Tuesday is the kid's bathroom, and so on. It helps me feel like I'm getting something accomplished outside of our errands and has really helped my transition to being at home while I'm on the job hunt.

Usually while the kids are down I'll also hop on my treadmill and knock out a few miles. I decided to start training for the Shamrock Marathon this Spring on top of my training with Ashley Horner, so needless to say I'm always sore! That outlet has also really helped with staying sane! Recently, I signed the kids and I up at Vic's gym so that I can drop them off in their daycare and Ryker can play with other kids while I work out.

Once Ryker is up, we all play outside with his water table or with chalk or if the weather is super horrible, it's been way too hot some days, we hang out inside and work on his letters and numbers and such in his room and then watch Planes, the kid loves that movie.

By the time that's all done Vic is usually home and he takes the kids so I can get a few minutes alone before I start dinner. This is all very different than waking up and putting on my steel toe boots and being in a building with no windows all day, surrounded by computers and I love it. Of course, the fact that I can wear yoga pants all day contributes to that and I love having my hair down, it's crazy how long it got after all those years of having it back in a tight bun!

There's a little peek into our daily routine, I'm off to prepare some iced coffee and get on my treadmill for an active rest day. Our little lady has her two month check up today and I can't wait to find out how much she weighs now!

A peek into our week

After hearing about it from Ryker's daycare teacher every day, we finally got the little man's haircut! He gets a haircut about once every two or three months, I just love his long little boy hair so much. Every time we cut it he grows up, I swear. I had them give him a cut that makes me style it, that way he looks a tad bit more put together instead of always having "impossible to manage, Harry Potter" hair all the time. He's super wiggly for pictures, so here's the best one I could get for you...

He's getting better about sitting still for hair cuts, places like Pigtails and Crewcuts are such a great concept! I remember going somewhere like that when I was a kid, hopefully he looks back on these and thinks they were fun experiences too. 

A while back, Vic and I were watching Jurassic Park and I made him a pizza. That night Jurassic Park Pizza was born! It's basically just a combo of sausage, chicken, tomatoes, onions and balsamic. I started making my own pizza sauce, I'll share that in a post of its own! We got the pizza crust from Target, it's the Market Panty Ultra Thin and Crispy and it made the perfect cracker crisp thin crust, which I love.

I've been all about the easiest lunches lately, otherwise I'll just forget and be starving at night. The other day I threw together about two cups of steamed broccoli, two eggs and ALL the hot sauce. Pair that with Boom Chicka Pop Sea Salt popcorn and I am one happy girl. I'm obsessed with that popcorn! 140 calories for 4 cups? Done.

I've been doing a lot more running lately, a lot of which is done at a pretty hefty incline so it was time for new, comfy shoes. I tried to switch to shoes that were lighter, but I've run in Nike LunarGlides for years. I went back to my roots and found the cutest pair and my run today was amazing in them! It feels great to be getting my stride back.

And finally, my littlest cutie has decided that she is only happy if we are holding hands. I decided to just start riding in the back with her if Vic is riding because it's easier than reaching back to continuously pop her pacifier back in. She's a handful but she's amazing, so it all balances out!

I hope you're having a great week so far, we're almost to the weekend!

My favorite breakfast right now

People who don't like oatmeal freak me out, but then again, I don't like cheesecake for it's weird texture and a lot of people don't get that...I guess we all have our thing, right? I love oatmeal for how quickly it can be prepared and how much you can mix into it. When I'm home I'm all about the hot oatmeal, which of course is super quick with my tea kettle. When I was taking oatmeal to work I would do the overnight oats in a mason jar. Just add all of your ingredients, including the liquid (water or milk) and pop it in the fridge. I loved that option when mixing in berries, everything just tastes so great cold.

Right now, I'm obsessed with  my new protein powder. I've been using two different kinds, Vega protein and greens and peanut butter Quest protein powder. The protein and greens tastes like it has greens in it, so watch out, but it's not bad. I usually have that one post workout. If I'm looking to curb the desire for a treat I'm all about the Quest peanut butter protein. It's out of this world and amazing in oatmeal. Oatmeal is supposed to have lactogenic properties (it's supposed to help make more breastmilk), as well as some other spices and seeds. As soon as I had Cora I bought some of Mrs. Patel's lactation products to try and curb the supply issues I had with Ryker. I add the munch crunch to my oatmeal. To round out my favorite breakfast I add some Great Lakes Collagen Hydrolysate and Kerrygold butter so that I have a bowl full of protein, good fats and carbs that will keep me going until I remember to eat when the baby gives me a break! 

Let me know if you give this a shot, it tastes amazing and really helps give me some energy to get through the day! 

Why I don't want my pre-baby body

If you type "Body after Baby" into Google you get 484,000,000 results. The second article that popped up had a tag line about looking "like your pre-baby self in no time!" That's silly. It's not easy, especially the first time around, to get used to the changes that happen to your body after you have the baby. They tell you that you'll still look pregnant, you hear "it takes 9 months to put it on, it'll take about that to get it off" and yet I'm sure I can't be the only one that walked away from the hospital a little pissed about not being closer to "normal".

If there is one thing that I have learned about parenting it is that you should never try to settle into a normal, because things are always changing. You are always adapting to new milestones, new tantrums, new foods that they love/hate and so on. So, instead of getting worked up about trying to look like I did a year ago, I'd like to know that I'm doing everything I can to look and feel the best I can after having grown and birthed two children.

Getting back into shape and feeling strong and comfortable in my body can't be accomplished the same way it did before Ryker or after Ryker, because now there is Ryker and Cora. They have both left their marks on my body and now he tries to steal my water bottle and headphones while she sets the timetable for the next time I need to breastfeed her. I get to the gym and I use that as my motivation. I know that I have a certain amount of time that I can be gone, so I better be killing it at the gym while I'm there. I want my kids to see that Mom has goals and she's going to work hard to meet them. There will be times when they come with me so that I can work with/around them and others where it's just not going to happen. As long as I don't give up, I feel like I'm teaching them something.  

I'll be six weeks postpartum on Thursday. I still have nearly 20 pounds to lose, which is saying something considering that I gained 30. I'm not that woman that drops majority of the weight upon giving birth, I hold on to almost all of it for the first few months (which is super frustrating!). So, I'm trying to focus on getting my 5k time back to sub-25 minutes and trying to make sure I'm lifting as heavy as I can. I also have to remember to eat and to rest, because all this work will be for nothing if a) my body is too tired and hungry to heal and prepare itself and b) I turn into a giant grouch and am no fun for my family.

Make your family a priority, but make yourself one too. You wouldn't expect your two year old to potty train in one day, so don't expect your body to bounce back that quickly either. Be forgiving. Of course, this is all easier said than done, but I'm hoping this reminder to myself may help someone else go a little easier on themselves when trying to settle into being a new mom of two little ones!

A little meal prep action

In an effort to work on our nutrition and fitness goals while saving money, we make sure to prep food for lunches as often as possible. I can't blame Vic for being sick of choking down grilled chicken every day, when it's plain there just isn't a whole lot that even seasonings can do, eventually you have to spice it up! 

 

Vic likes saucy chicken, so I started making chicken salad for him. It keeps better throughout the week and the chicken doesn't seem to dry out while it waits to be eaten on Friday. Tonight, I took 25 ounces of grilled chicken breasts, 11 ounces of Greek yogurt, half a cup of our favorite wing sauce and about a pound each of chopped celery and carrots. I really hate Greek yogurt, but I gave this a shot and it is so good! I might actually steal some of his chicken salad this week. 

I joined a transformation challenge with Ashley Horner last week that runs for the next 10 weeks and it has been a great kick start to get me back in the gym and eating right. Because it's a competition, my competitive side has really kicked in and I've been doing pretty great with my nutrition. I haven't had the most exciting meals, but tonight I absolutely loved this mixture. I can't stand to eat cottage cheese on it's own so I mix in a little bit of strawberry jelly. I'm basically surviving off of Ezekiel toast since it's easy to eat with one hand while I'm nursing Cora. I topped my toast with my cottage cheese mixture and oh man, it was amazing! 

I'll be sharing more information about the #TransformYou challenge that I'm doing coming soon! I hope you had a great weekend, are you meal prepping tonight? 

One month!

As you can see, she was stoked on taking pictures today!

I can't believe that Cora is already a month old! I realized that her birthday falls exactly six months from Christmas, which I think is pretty cool, so only five to go! She's developed a pretty good schedule and has become a great feeder, she's super efficient when she wants to be. We've figured out that she loves to be swaddled, which Ryker hated, that's made our lives a lot easier. Her swing, found here, is a life saver. If we swaddle her and turn on the static sound that the swing makes she's done for as long as we need her to be sleeping so that we can get things done around the house (like play with big brother!).

Ryker has recently discovered that Cora is in fact going to be sticking around and affecting his amount of time with our sole attention, so we've been dealing with a few extra tantrums and a slightly more difficult nighttime routine. I've been trying to make sure that he gets more time devoted strictly to him to help with this new beginning of our lives, yesterday he even got his first Starbucks treat while him and I went out for early Saturday morning coffee! I say early, but it was actually the first day that everyone slept until 9, oh man...9 am! I couldn't believe it when I checked the clock. Lately, I end up bringing Cora into bed with me at the 5-6 am feeding and we fall asleep together. Once she's done eating she curls up and attaches to me like a little barnacle and will sleep like that for hours, which is super nice. That's what happened yesterday morning and we all got the most sleep that we have in a while.

Vic and I had our first date night Friday night since adding our Little Miss to the family, the lucky girl got to come along while Ryker stayed home with our baby sitter. We went out to our favorite fancy restaurant for some great ambiance. It was nice getting out for a dinner that didn't involve cutting up Ryker's food but Cora was like a celebrity! Everyone wanted to look at her and talk about her and to be honest, eventually we just wanted to be left alone with our adorable baby. At one point I was feeding her under a blanket at our table and the woman next to us turned her chair and just watched me. It was crazy. She was very nice, but that was a little awkward. Besides that it was a perfect night out!

On a different note, here are some things that have kept me sane over the last month:

ProBar Cookie Dough protein bars. These and lots of coffee have kept me going the last month. I can eat them with one hand while I feed Cora and most days they are really all I can stomach. I forget to eat half the time because I'm just not that hungry, so I make sure that I at least have this in the morning. I've started getting back to my normal egg routine though, so these have been a great snack.

Pampers Swaddlers. These have been great for holding in those lovely breastmilk diapers, anyone who has changed one of those knows that they need to be contained well. Swaddlers have a different layer on them that really holds everything in well. Cloth diapering with Ryker once he was on solids was a real test, I can't imagine how Momma's cloth diaper with breastfed newborns, you'd have to have hundreds of them! We're running through diapers like crazy.

Oribe hairspray. This stuff smells absolutely amazing and helps me get away with washing my hair once every three days or so. I fell in love with their anti-humidity spray years ago and then found this and it's been a great love affair ever since. If I spray this all over after I blow dry, my air won't get greasy and will look semi good all three days, it generally ends up in a pony tail anyways, but I know for sure it smells amazing with this stuff!

Netflix, peanut butter and Ezekiel Cinnamon Raison bread have also been huge staples in my life lately. We're back on our eMeals subscription and have been getting some good dinner ideas from there, but some nights we just grill up the prepped burgers from Whole Foods. I love how grilling is just so easy and quite frankly, it's so hot here that most nights there is just no way in hell that I'm turning the oven on. 

That's all for now, Cora is starting to stir and will be needing her Momma soon. I hope you had a great weekend!

Cora's birth story: Part two

Part Two:

We got to the triage room and I was a little snappy at the nurse, whoops! They made me lay on my back with the monitor for 20 minutes and I thought it was going to kill me. This was the first time I felt some liquid coming out of me and Vic and Christi exchanged looks but told me I was ok. I had a funny feeling it wasn’t my water, but I didn’t want to know any different so I didn’t look.  The nurse checked me and told me I was at a four, which broke my heart. There was no way I was only four centimeters. I felt like I was in transition! Christi whispered to me that she was watching someone laboring at a 7, not a 4 and to not let it discourage me. They got me to my delivery room and things moved even faster. They wouldn’t let me get in the shower to labor because of how fast my contractions were coming. I noticed at this point that there was blood all over my legs and I wanted to shower for the comfort and to get clean, but no go. I had them put up the side of the bed, which I clutched onto for dear life. They spent 20 minutes trying to get an IV in just in case I needed it for after the birth, since I didn’t want an IV during labor. With Ryker, I was able to stand and labor, with Cora, I couldn’t move from a version of the fetal position on the bed, any slight movement and I thought the contractions would kill me. I kept saying “I can’t do this”, and Vic and Christi kept telling me how I could, and I was. 

Eventually, my body just started pushing. I was doing everything I could to not push and to remain calm during contractions with deep breathing, but this nurse kept yelling at me to stop pushing and I kept trying to explain to her that I wasn’t doing it, it was like dry heaving…your body just takes over. The doctor on call finally showed up and checked me, saying I was almost there and offered to break my water. Once she did that, I rocketed to 10 cm and was finally not getting yelled at for pushing. I laid on my side, with Vic holding my leg for me. I was so exhausted from gripping the bed that I couldn’t hold my leg myself. It took just a handful of pushes to get our baby girl out, she came so fast that when my body finally pushed her out on its own nobody was looking! There was a break in contractions, or we thought, and I had this overwhelming feeling of calm, like “this is it” and she just shot out. If it wasn’t for being wrapped in the cord three times she probably would have fallen off the table. Her legs, arms and neck had the cord around them. She was very tiny, just 5 pounds and seemed smaller than Ryker had been even though he came three weeks earlier in his pregnancy. 

The doctor was immediately talking to me about intrauterine growth restriction. Then, they hooked me up to a Pitocin drip because I began to hemorrhage. My body was shaking uncontrollably and I felt bad because I couldn’t concentrate on the sweet girl in my arms, I couldn’t stop shaking and I could feel myself bleeding. To be totally honest, I laid there thinking “you’ve got to be shitting me, I come to the hospital instead of getting my home birth and now I’m going to bleed to death?” I didn’t need a transfusion or anything because the Pitocin did it’s job, but we were nervous there for a minute with all the bleeding. 

Next thing you know, Cora latched on like a champ, we delayed her bath until she got sleepy hours later and everything has been great ever since! Her delivery took under two hours once we showed up to the hospital and was way more painful and trying than my previous delivery, but I’m very glad and very proud that I made it through as naturally as possible again. It was definitely scary, but I appreciate the experience more than anything else that has seemed difficult in my life. 

I can’t imagine getting through either of my deliveries without my husband and Christi. Christi was such a God send for us, she knows just how to support Vic and I and she helped us have some great moments. She encouraged us to look into each other’s eyes at one point, and while I was staring lasers through Vic’s head, it really did help to just focus on his sweet and supportive eyes as I went through contractions. I’m so very lucky to have a husband who backs my choices and gives me everything I need to get through any obstacle. 

There’s her story! It took me three weeks to sit down and type it and two days to finish that in between feedings, so I apologize for any errors! I hope you enjoyed reading that, looking back now I’m amazed at how intense everything was in such a short period of time. I hope the rest of her life isn’t as trying for us as parents as her entrance was!

Welcome Miss Cora Rose!

Cora's birth story: Part One

Settle in, this story may take a bit! 

Part One:

Cora was born at 12:14 am on Thursday, June 25, 2015, but her birth story starts the weekend prior. This might be TMI, but you’re reading a birth story, so you must be ok with that! So, I had been dealing with what I thought was pain from being constipated. I’ve never been the most regular person and the third trimester wasn’t helping with that. I was getting to the point of tears regularly, but I was convinced that eventually I would be able to go and it would all be ok. I went to work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and just sat on my knees, leaning over the back of my chair while I worked or I stood until I would leave around noon (I was on half days, heck yea!). Wednesday, I was at work and pretty uncomfortable that morning. I went to the bathroom (just to pee, damn it!) and there was blood. I instantly got very nervous and ran back to the only two women in my shop at the time, one of which had two kids and another with none. My friend Kendal knew exactly what was up, the other was very excited and I explained that I was not full term yet and that this was not exciting. I ran out the door very quickly, shaking the whole way to my car. I got Vic on the phone and told him to get home and then called my doula.

We were supposed to be meeting with our midwives for our home visit to prepare for our home birth, I just needed to stay pregnant for another week to get our peaceful, hypnobirthing home birth, damn it! Christi said exactly what I thought, my pains and the bleeding sounded like the start of labor. She had been there for Ryker’s labor and knew how my body worked and that I’m pretty good at minimizing the impression of pain that I’m in, I internalize it pretty well until it’s unbearable. We decided to wait and see what happened and that I would see her at 6, when we were all meeting at our house for the meeting. Vic paced the house while I laid on my left side and drank water like a good pregnant woman trying to lessen cramps (which I knew were contractions but I was ignoring that). His certification exam for work was the next day, this was not good timing. I tried to tell him that I would be pregnant until the weekend, but I also told him that was crazy to try and predict and it was time to cancel the test and reschedule.

Fast forward to that evening…Christi got to the house first. We sat at the table and chatted about what I was feeling and she had this look on her face, I could tell that she knew this was it, I wasn’t going to be pregnant much longer. We talked about options, since I had really wanted a home birth. The midwives showed up and we went over what I was feeling, they said they thought it was nothing, but that I should take it very easy (bed rest) and that as long as I made it to the following Tuesday they could do the home birth. If I went into active labor before then I would have to go the hospital, where they would not be joining us. I couldn’t have been happier for Vic and I to have Christi by our side. She left for another meeting and the midwives left. The whole time they were there the contractions had stopped. I had been timing them all day and was impressed with how they had just stopped once Ryker got home from school and the midwives got there. Well, once they left shit got real.

The contractions started piling on, they were a minute to a minute and a half long, with about a two minute break in between. Vic and I tried having me lay on the couch, then I got in the shower, then back on the couch, unable to get even remotely comfortable. An hour later, at about 9:15 pm, I had Vic call Christi and tell her to get to the house immediately. I called my brother, an EMT, to ask him what protocol was if he got called to a laboring woman. I wanted to know what would happen if I couldn’t get into the car. I wanted my homebirth, but there was a feeling in my gut that said this is happening now and she has to get out and we have to get to the hospital. Christi got to the house around the same time our good friend Matt showed up to stay at the house with Ryker. I labored in our room on the floor, bent over on all fours or over my birth ball. Then, my stomach decided it was party time. With Ryker, I had to go right before transition, so the fact that my stomach wanted to empty itself already had me terrified. I remember finishing and trying to walk out of the bathroom between contractions and having to bend over the sink. There was a glass of wine that I had started to try and relax and it was in my way and I just pushed it out into the air towards Christi and said “make this go away!” I couldn’t handle the smell. I collapsed on the floor of our room after trying to get comfortable on our bed and looked at Christi and said “when do we go?” She told me whenever I was ready.

I got through a few more piled contractions and told Vic to get a bag together. Within the next 10 minutes or so we were making it towards the car. It took a while to get there, because I had to hang on Vic during a contraction in front of the house. I got in the back seat and held on to the head rest for dear life. That was the worst drive ever. I remember we got to the hospital but were in the wrong parking lot and I wanted to labor laying on the parking lot ground instead of being in the car. I got out at the door of the ER with Christi and Vic parked the car. By the time we made it to the counter I started to get very light headed. I got into a wheelchair and had Vic answer the lady’s questions. I sat there, feeling pale and light headed. I knew the blood had rushed out of my face. I thought for sure I was going to pass out. They wheeled me to L&D pretty quickly, that wheelchair ride felt so trippy! She was going so fast and I couldn’t keep my eyes open, it made me sick. 

Check out Part Two here.

Double trouble

We're three weeks into our life as a family of four and things are going pretty well! Cora nurses like a champ, but always wants to show off, and basically can only be soothed by being held or nursing. Our pediatrician told me not to be a human pacifier, but I let the little lady do what she wants. Every now and then (mostly at night) a tight swaddle and pacifier will buy us a few hours, but during the day she's pretty much attached to me.

Ryker has been doing great with his little sister and lights up when they get in the same room together. He's had really bad allergies and a faucet for a nose, so they haven't been in very close proximity much, but he's given some good kisses and very sweet pats on the head. He's great at getting diapers for her and songs her songs when she's crying. 

I I have to say, I've had some trouble adjusting with ensuring both kids get my attention. I'm sure it's just mom guilt, but I worry about not keeping up my relationship with Ryker when I can't help him with stuff or pick him up because I'm holding Cora. For this reason, I make sure that as soon as I can put her down he has my full attention and gets lots of cuddles! He's so great at playing on his own that I don't think he really notices much. The kid is obsessed with Legos, they've been a God send, at least until they're stuck together and he gets frustrated, or we step on one (ouch!).

I'm trying to make a point of getting in great quality meals at home, but I'm basically surviving off of ProBar protein bars and coffee. #Momlife

Our life hasn't really changed too much besides being back to carrying a diaper bag and lugging the car seat around! I'd kill for an extra couple hours of sleep and a cleaning lady, but I know things will get back to a version of normal soon enough. Happy Thursday everyone, I'm pretty sure that's what day it is...right? 

Tuesday talkin'

Can we start with how cute this little guy is? He just got a hair cut, which I haven't debuted in pictures yet, but it's even more adorable, or at least as adorable as his mop of hair. I keep the front and top long, and just had them clean up the sides and back into layers so that we stop getting asked if "she" wants anything to drink at restaurants. We finally figured out that this little guy has pretty nasty allergies. I get bad ones every Spring here, but they usually go away by the end of May, which they have. For Ryker, he's basically had a runny nose for six months and it was making me nuts. Last week, he woke up with crusty eyes, so we've been super diligent about him getting his Claritin, the only stuff that works, and BAM! The kid is not nearly the snot bucket he usually is, he's in a better mood and he's just way more fun. 

An Instagram filter ay have helped that picture above, but let me tell you, those were some damn good homemade lamb gyros. I picked up the lamb sausage from Whole Foods that they seem to always have in their butcher department and now I understand why, it's amazing! I just browned it up, served it on the Naan from Whole Foods (tastes way better than their pita), mixed Greek yogurt with some cucumber and red wine vinegar and topped it with feta. It took about 15 minutes, all said and done. The veggies are just the asparagus stir fry in the prepped produce area of WF sautéed in some olive oil. Ryker at two whole plates of those veggies and half that gyro all because it was supposed to be mine. I'm wondering how to proceed with my sometimes picky eater, here's the situation. If I give him a meal in his high chair, 60% of the time these days he will be very picky about getting exactly what he wants and not eating (or feeding the dogs) whatever he decides is sub par. I can then put the same food on my plate, sit down to eat it and he will sit next to me and eat every bite. Our pediatrician says to make him what I want him to have, serve it to him and if he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. I try this, but I'm weak so the kid gets the four bananas a day that he wants because his pitiful little "more nanny?" requests are too cute. I'm tempted to let him to continue to eat off my plate, since it means he's eating things like tons of veggies and exotic tastes like lamb sausage or curries or spicy burgers and things he normally wouldn't be interested in trying. What do you think? 

I've got today through Thursday off, which is pretty sweet. I applied to a dream job today and then another that pays a pretty dreamy salary but that would be kind of dry, but hey, you can't win them all. I figure if I keep putting my resume out there to new stuff that I'm qualified for every day, then eventually someone has to cave and hire me, right? That's my best attempt at the power of positivity right now, haha. I know it is still early in the process (roughly 90 days) but I want to know that we will be good now! 

We've got 15 days until I am full term and that is SO EXCITING! I've been feeling pretty good lately, except for sleeping which is basically impossible. I'm officially destroying Vic's attempts at sleep as well, which just isn't very cool of my half unconscious self. At least I know that when Baby Girl gets here, I'll be getting up all the time to accomplish something. Getting up every two hours to pee is just dumb. Watching this belly of mine continue to shoot out is pretty nuts! Lately, I've come up with a pretty good regimen of making sure I get my suggested supplements from my midwife in, along with fresh produce and even though my workouts have been the same, my weight gain has stalled a little over the last 10 days or so. The part of me that wants to stay as far south of 190 as possible is loving it, the part of me that wants to make sure Baby Girl is growing wonders if that is ok. I know she's getting great quality foods, along with some french fries and the occasional cupcake, so I'm not too worried. Here's what I'm getting daily:

A little more than the recommended serving of Natural Calm, which can be found here, or I get mine at Whole Foods. I'm taking a little more than the two teaspoons that my bottle lists as a serving because it helps get things moving that way, if you know what I mean. 

2000 mg of Vitamin C, which is supposed to help strengthen the amniotic sac and may also help with preventing transmission of Group B Strep during delivery. Here's a version from Amazon.

1 scoop of this Amazing Trio of different grasses, which I'm taking for the Alfalfa. It's a good source of Vitamin K, which should help with clotting and I am in no way ok with postpartum hemorrhage, so load me up with clotting abilities, please! It can be found here or I get it at Whole Foods. 

Fish oil, we take the Kirkland brand ones from Costco, two a day. 

I started making an amazing juice drink with 1 cup of Good Belly probiotic drink, the blueberry acai flavor, plus a scoop of the Amazing Trio powder and an ounce of spinach to help get some veggies in. It's higher than I'd prefer in sugar, but it tastes good and kind of masks the grass clipping taste, so I've come to look forward to it. I also found this smoothie recipe on Pinterest that my sister pinned that is so good, but I tweaked it a little to add my protein powder that I'm obsessed with. It has 1 cup of chopped carrots, a scoop of Snickerdoodle protein powder, half a cup of Greek yogurt, half a cup of milk and some ginger/cinnamon/nutmeg to taste. It's amazing. 

As long as I get everything above, I feel pretty good, but there are generally a lot more apples and carrots mixed in there for lunch, and then whatever we choose to do for dinner. Tonight will be three nights in a row that I've cooked a home cooked meal, I'm getting back into the groove! For some reason I took like six months off from cooking, whoops. But now I'm back and it's been delicious :)

Stressin' like a Boss!

So, this isn't one of my normal posts, just a warning! Sometimes a girl just needs to vent and ramble about some stuff. I promise to be back to normal programming after this :)

You've heard of the silly "Mommy Wars", right? Where stay at home Moms shame working Moms and vice versa for whatever reason. I never understood the concern over this, or why in the world any Mom was wasting what pressure time and sanity she had on worrying about what another Mom was doing with her day. As a working Mom, do I get jealous of others who get to stay at home? Yes, until Ryker is in one of his lovely "I'm two and you should do what I want" phases and then I count my blessings that sometimes I get to drop him off for the lovely Miss Peggy to deal with him at school. I don't need the Mommy Wars to give me guilt, you know why? I'm great at that all on my own.

I'm basically a professional stresser, I stress myself out as a hobby. It's not a great hobby, and I'm sure my time could be better spent learning to knit (I went to Michael's once to try and learn that...way too confusing) but instead I spend my time finding new things to worry and obsess over. Normally, I have found my baseline level of ridiculous stress that I can deal with, but this pregnancy has been especially rough because of it. Of course, I'm excited for our baby girl to get here, I can't wait to hold her, see Vic with his Daddy's girl and see Ryker as a big brother. But, I also spend my nights laying in bed thinking about crazy stuff that just gets me worked up and emotional. So, in an effort to just put my concerns out there and move on, I'm making a top 10 list of my self imposed Mom guilt so that I can just move on and enjoy the precious last 6 weeks or so of this pregnancy.

1. I'm so uncomfortable, and it's 90% of what I think about. Ryker's pregnancy was a breeze, but it also ended at 33 weeks. I'm 33 weeks and 1 day, and it's totally true that pregnancies can be 100% different for the same woman, this one has been pretty uncomfortable. From round ligament pain, heartburn, not being able to keep food down, to the latest hip/pelvic pain, I feel like my body sucks at growing a human. I worked out up until the weekend I had Ryker, like real lifting, and with this baby I can barely make it through my half hour stroll on my treadmill. I don't feel like a fit, strong Mom, I feel like I'm out of shape and can't imagine the work it will take to get it back. (This is my main self imposed guilt issue!)

2. What if Ryker feels neglected? How confusing is breastfeeding going to be for him? He suddenly wants me to hold him all the time, is he going to resent the new baby for being attached to me while we attempt breastfeeding exclusively? I don't want him to feel like second fiddle.

3. Having one kid reshaped my relationship with my amazing husband, what is having two children going to do? I tend to get caught in Ryker and his needs, putting them before ours as individuals and as a couple, I need to get a hold of this before I am trying to put everyone before our relationship. There's a reason I love having this man's children, he can only be defined as part of me, my other half doesn't even explain it.

4. I haven't cooked more than one or two meals for us as a family since last Fall. Lately, I've been stressing over Ryker's veggie intake, despite the fact that the kid can and does eat whole cans of green beans. Now if only I could get them to be fresh green beans (he doesn't like those).

5. I am leaving my current job for a new one in September, just about two months after I am due. The fun part? I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I AM TRANSITIONING TO. I just want a job, so that I can feel like I'm not going to flounder, all unemployed and useless in the Fall.

6. Laundry for days.

7. I don't know how to relax. My midwife says I need to so that the baby can benefit from my relaxing hormones. I've started hypnobirthing, which is helping, but generally just knocks me out.

8. Between work, school and getting pregnant, I totally dropped the ball on any and all friendships.

Look at that, I thought for sure I'd get to 10 and then go on, but I'd have to search for more things and that really would be crazy! As I wrote this list it did exactly what I wanted it to, it made me realize how silly most of this is and that I can take steps to assuage all of this. There have been so many articles out there that I have seen about taking Instagram Mom accounts with a grain of salt, they might post all the happy pictures but who knows what they are actually going through? Lord knows how much time I waste scrolling through women that I follow for motivation but only end up feeling like I'm not balancing everything as well as they are. So, starting today, my focus is going entirely internal in regards to my family and myself. I want to enjoy the end of this third trimester, especially since I am officially in uncharted territory and I want to help create an environment that allows my boys to enjoy it too, instead of just seeing me feeling uncomfortable and bad for myself. I can't wait to be able to hold our little girl in my arms, but I know that I will miss feeling her constant movement inside me, even when she's pressing on my hip bone as hard as she can! Let's take a moment for ourselves, Moms, and just appreciate everything we do instead of worrying about what didn't get done. We're basically the shit. Now, it's time to go get my little guy out of bed and cash in on my Good Morning kiss!

Guess who's 2!

DISCLAIMER: Of course, life with a toddler is mostly unexpected and impossible to plan. We think Ryker got a nasty case of heat sickness last week from school, because our kid is a fish and needs insane amounts of water. I wrote this post the night before his birthday and am just now getting around to posting a week later! He's all good now and his teacher makes sure he always has access to water, that kid could drink the ocean after play time. Enjoy!

My baby boy is going to be two tomorrow! I can't believe the way that time has flown by. The first year was a lot of fun, but I think that even with the trials that come with having a mobile toddler in the house, this last year has been pretty amazing. Watching Ryker learn new things every day and really seeing the ways in which his personality is starting to blossom has been absolutely amazing.

My little guy still loves to eat like he's trying to catch up to his Daddy in no time. He regularly eats as much, if not more than I do and is still my skinny little guy, but don't be fooled...he's super heavy when you go to pick him up! He's sitting at about 30 pounds these days, which spurred us to finally get him into a new car seat about a month ago. We went with the Graco Nautilus 3-in-1 and have really liked it, so much so that we bought the same one for each of our cars. I've learned that the easiest way to try and have a happy ride home from school (he's usually pretty fussy after a day of playing with his friends) is to make sure that his cup holder is stocked with a drink and have a snack ready for him. The kid is a water fiend, just like his daddy! Since his school provides his lunches and snacks, I try to make him the best dinners possible but lately he's been obsessed with green beans, so his dinner diet has comprised of lots of green beans and either frozen fishies from Dr. Praeger's, chicken nuggets or whatever we happen to be grilling that night. He also lovingly refers to bananas (his favorite fruit) as "nannies" and God forbid he sees one that you don't intend on giving to him, he'll lose it. Be careful when you peel it too, he doesn't like it when they break in half!

His vocabulary has absolutely exploded and he's pointing out things all around him as he learns their names. Lately, he's been finding stars and cars everywhere and last week he pointed out an airplane that was flying by while we were driving! Some of his other favorite words/phrases include: what's that, uh-oh, oh no, bye-bye, Mommy and Daddy, baby, Ah-Ah (the name of his monkey toy), night night, I don't know, and many more that I can't think of right now. He sings and dances, which I think is just the cutest thing ever and just last night I got him to repeat back his version of "I love you" and it totally melted me. He can point out his hair, nose, eyes, fingers, toes, shoes, belly and ears and loves to find them on his stuffed animals as well. 

The kid is OBSESSED with books. Sometimes I just have to hide certain ones so that I can get a break from reading the same thing over and over. We just got him a basketball hoop for his birthday and we're hoping that he enjoys that, recently he's had a lot of fun throwing a ball around the house and yelling "ball!", so hopefully he'll love the hoop just as much. We also got him a lego table because he loves the one at our local Carter's store so much, which makes shopping there really easy!

There are so many other amazing things that he does and says every day. Sometimes, especially as this pregnancy progresses, he might make me doubt my abilities to stay sane with two children, but more often than not he's cracking me up and making me tell Vic how cute his is and how I think he's a genius. I can't believe it's already been two years since that little guy came into our lives and shook everything up. He's changed me in so many ways, the biggest of which has been my patience and my obsession with making sure our bed time routine happens. No, it isn't a strict bath and book routine. Every night I lay him down, we sing a song or two with our faces cuddled up on his stuffed owl, he kisses me "night night" and I say "I love you sweetheart, have sweet dreams". Some nights he won't be as stoked about bed times as others, which is mostly rare, so I'll sneak back in once he's asleep and make sure all of that happens no matter what. Tonight I may hold him a little longer, our nights of him being my only baby are numbered! He'll always be my first child, and only now do I see how special that is. I love you, Stinker, happy almost birthday!  

I can't believe it's been a year since this picture! I bought him another blue cake for this year, new pictures to come! 

Starting off the third trimester!

I can't believe that we are already into the third trimester and that I'm only 9 weeks from full term (37 weeks). For the longest time it seems like you'll be pregnant forever and then all of a sudden you're almost done. Considering that Ryker came early, this is about the point that every time I really have to pee I stress out that my water is going to break. I know the two aren't related, but trying to not make a huge mess with a leaking water bag feels about the same as a sneeze mishap! 

I've been able to be pretty consistent with getting in 2 miles every other day on my treadmill. I'd rather be outside, but sometimes I'll be fine walking and then all of a sudden the round ligament pains will get so bad that I have to stop, so I don't risk being away from home. Baby girl seems like she's bigger than Ryker, but when I read my posts from his pregnancy it seems like I thought he was the rumbliest baby also, so maybe that's just something Momma's always think. She lays in a transverse (hip to hip) position most of the time, which isn't the most comfortable for me. She's always rolling around too, and she does this thing with either her hand or foot where I can feel her just rubbing it back and forth, like she's petting me from the inside. Thinking about her doing that just made me so happy to get to hold her!

Symptoms wise, my heartburn has me at dragon status most days. I've also determined that if I eat too big of a dinner, or eat anything at all after 6:30pm I'll throw it all up before bed, so I've stopped eating very much for dinner and I just graze all evening, which is what I do all morning and afternoon at lunch as well. I decided to not drink the Glucola drink for the blood sugar testing and instead opted to test my blood sugar four times a day for two weeks. It may seem a little crazy, but considering that I am working on finishing the last few classes of my Masters in Sports and Health Sciences, I thought that it would be cool to be able to recognize exactly how my diet affects my blood sugar levels throughout the day. So far, it seems like my ability to process sugar is right up there with my fantastic cardiovascular system, my levels stay pretty close to my fasting levels all day. One time I hit 100 mg/dl, after I had fries, toast and lemonade for dinner. I'm glad to see that I definitely don't have gestational diabetes! Hot showers are the best trick to help my back pain and when she's just moving too much to be comfortable. I read in Spiritual Midwifery that island tribes would have women hula dance to get baby into a better position, I tried that the other day in the shower to get her to stop pressing on my hip bones and it helped! 

Cravings have been pretty consistent, Starbucks lattes, fruit, French fries and chocolate. I never really have a sweet tooth until I'm pregnant and then it's insane. I try to be totally on point with what I eat in the morning and for lunch so that dinners and weekends can be pretty free for whatever, like weekly pancake trips! 

Ryker has been a combination of a completely wild little monster and the most perfect, sweet and hilarious little boy lately. It really is either of the two ends of the spectrum, he can be making me want to just give up and hide in the closet (he'll just bang on the door, so that won't work) and put him to bed early, or he's giving kisses and singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and playing peek a boo. I've heard of language and learning explosions happen and that is definitely the case. Every day he does something new that makes us laugh and blows us away. Seeing him learn and become such a cute little guy has been an amazing process...until he learns a new way to throw a tantrum or something else to call "mine!", haha.
May means we're officially in the last month of Ryker being a one year old and that his birthday is just a few weeks away! Vic and I have talked about getting him something for the backyard, like a water table to put by our little pool, that way we can have some summer fun at home. We took him to the beach after school a few weeks ago and he was not so excited about the sand, which kind of bummed me out but we'll keep trying! I don't think he appreciated the insane amount of sunscreen that I put on him, I'm pretty sure I covered my little vampire with half a tube of Honest Co. sunscreen.

All in all, things have been pretty great. Vic got inducted into an honors society this week and I couldn't be prouder of him. They read off some of the achievements of the other students that were getting scholarships for the rest of their education and I was amazed at the group of people that he's joining. When you are used to seeing someone you love be fantastic on a regular basis it can be hard to realize how special everything they do is, then someone else points out how much they go above and beyond and it's all reaffirmed! He's been such an awesome support system for me, during the pregnancy and always. He's had his last semester finals to worry about, along with starting at Merril Lynch and yet I still get time to come home from work and lay down while he picks up Ryker from daycare for me, this is just one of the little ways that he makes me feel so spoiled.

Well, I'm done rambling for today! Sorry about the big lapse in posts and updates. A toddler plus work and a research methods course all at once have made life a little hectic for us! But of course, we wouldn't have it any other way. 

24 weeks

I cannot believe that I'm officially in the sixth month and that the third trimester is just right around the corner already! Things are going by so quickly this time and I totally blame it on having a toddler that keeps you busy all day. Here's the quick version of the normal Prego Update Stats:

Weight Gain: About 13 pounds last time I checked. I actually went down a pound or so for a week there, I'm sitting right at 165 right now. 

Cravings: Still everything sweet, specifically chocolate and Starbucks!

Aversions: Chicken breasts mainly, most everything else I've been pretty good with.

Symptoms: Heartburn, like always. The round ligament pain has eased up a bit, but all it takes is one wrong move to feel like I've torn something off my stomach wall. It's not a great time. Oh, and just like last time I feel like someone kicked me in the crotch all day. That's a great one! I'm officially waddling now because of that one. 

I made it back into the gym this Monday to get in a little more of a workout than the mile or so long walks that I've been doing since we went to the hospital for the round ligament pains. It's so hard trying to balance taking it easy and not feeling like I'm phoning in my workouts! I had planned to hit it hard (or at least kind of hard this week) but then Ryker wound up sick again, so I've been at home with him instead of killing it in the gym. I make sure to get those walks done though!

On Monday I had an extra crazy day at work, so when I went to get Ryker from school I decided that he and I would grab some ice cream as a pick me up. Luckily, Vic was done with school early so he met us for a treat also. Everything seemed great with Ryker, not sick at all!

Then, Tuesday came. Vic called me at work to tell me that Ryker woke up feeling a little warm and was completely losing his shit, which I could hear in the background. Vic dropped him off, needing to get to school, and we both waited for the call that they needed to send him home. It wasn't until I was on my way to get him that afternoon that they called to say that he had a 101.5 degree fever and told me that he had been out of it all day. Normally, when I walk into his classroom he gets all excited and comes running to me. Tuesday, he was sitting in a chair at their little table, still clutching Monkey (his love) and just stared at me. While I was talking to the teacher he just curled up on the ground at my feet and laid there. I called the pediatrician for an appointment the next morning and stopped for some probiotics and children's Motrin on the way home. I also got him started on some Immune Support gummies from ZarBee's. 

We cuddled at home for a few minutes and then he was out for the night. Like, he slept from 5 pm until I got him up at 7:30 the next morning. The poor guy was not so stoked on heading back to the doctor. 

Sure enough, the latest round of antibiotics hadn't done the trick and he still had two ear infections. The doctor gave us a note for school saying that he's to only eat food that we provide to try and make sure he consistently gets the best quality nutrition to support his system. After the current antibiotic, the next trip is to the ENT. Let's hope we don't end up there!

After a long day with my screaming toddler who puked in my car, I dropped him with Daddy to go pick up his medications and may have made a slightly out of the way detour for a Caramel Macchiato and some quiet time. When I got home, I got Ryker settled and took the pups for a nice little walk. I just love the trees that bloom around here, but only until they pollenate and turn everything orange! I end up with crazy allergies every year, but I absolutely adore these trees until they clog my face up. 

You have to try this pancake recipe that I found on Bodybuilding.com! Just a 1/3 cup of oats, a 1/3 cup of pumpkin, a scoop of protein powder and two eggs and you get 5-6 pancakes that will keep you full and taste great! Considering I've been really bad at getting my protein in, these have definitely been helping and they are so easy to throw together. I might make a batch this weekend and throw some chocolate chips in there. Mmm, with some peanut butter on top? Done! 

It's time to cuddle up with my little guy and watch Rise of the Guardians. I love that movie! Especially the super tough Easter Bunny. I hope you're having a great week so far!