So this morning I got a talking to from my hubby on my crabby post surgery, sore shoulder, sleepless version of myself. While this surgery recovery has not been bad at all, at least not in comparison to some of the horror stories that I've heard, it still hasn't been a breeze and we are definitely out of our normal routine. Simple things are making me crazy, like the way that easy workouts hurt, the way doing dishes might make stretch my arm funny, stupid stuff I could avoid if I would stop stressing out over my body, over my house and over wanting it to look like I have it all together all the time. Well, I took today to just lay in my bed and I thought about how stupid it is for my husband to think that I'm in a bad mood or that I'm grumpy. Not because I haven't been acting that way, he totally has the right to think that because I have been acting that way. The ridiculous part is that I really am SO happy. I have no complaints about my little life, but I let stupid things get to me and then I act like everything is all wrong, and that's just not right. Especially with it being Mother's Day this weekend and my little guy's first birthday this month, I have so much to be so happy about every day.
So, what I'm getting at is that from here on out I'm only doing things with the IMMEDIATE goal of happiness. Not "I'm going to pout about my dry chicken and 6 ounces of red wine and wish I could have chicken wings and split a pitcher with Vic". I'm splitting the damn pitcher. Moderation is key of course, but I know well enough how to balance my day out and yet I get stuck in these ruts and these restrictive plans where I cut things out that I like and then I'm sad. So, no more. I will be healthy, I'll make the right choices, but I'll find the way to do all of that while being happy about those choices in the immediate time frame, not thinking about how if I restrict now I'll be happy in the future when that mystical future perfect body shows up.
Same goes for school and work. Luckily, I already came to my senses and switched my graduate degree to one in Sports and Health Sciences instead of Legal Studies. Yea, it's random, I have a B.A. in Sociology, I've spent my professional life as an Electronics Tech, but I love health and fitness and I love the idea of getting to help people better understand that kind of lifestyle and implement it, so that's what I'm going to learn about.
Vic and I go back and forth, practically on a weekly basis, about what we're going to do when he's out of school and I'm out of the Navy next summer. You know what I want us to? Whatever the F makes us happy. Yea, I could get a job doing what I'm doing now and be miserable. I hate my job. Yes, the Navy has done great things in my life, but I'm over it and I'm ready to go and find something that can help me come home with a smile on my face and fulfillment in my heart. I want Vic to find that same thing!
I was talking to a friend online about starting their fitness journey today. He's got weight to lose and he's afraid of starting an exercise routine at the weight he's at now for fear that he'll injure himself. It's a valid concern. You know how I think he should start? Go play with your kids outside more, chase them around, throw them in the air. Take your wife on a walk at sunset, even if its just around the block a couple of times, or once even! I suggested he do one extra physical activity today and then tomorrow, do just a little bit more. Make one healthy food choice today, and tomorrow make one more. Flipping your life upside down is not the way to go for a lot of people. It's scary, it's upsetting and it usually leads to burnout and failure. I think that if you take small steps and gain that pride and that self esteem in your ability to take one step further down the path of healthy choices and a more active life that you'll be more successful because you carved out that journey yourself and you pushed yourself!
I'm so frickin excited to have the opportunity to start fresh next summer and I'm even more excited to have my shoulder back to normal and be able to get back to doing all the things that I love, but I'm not going to sit here counting down the days because I've got an eleven month old that is growing up way too fast, and wishing for the future means his babyhood is going to go even faster!
There's my rambling for the day. The sun is shining, my son learned to clap his hands today and is smiling at me doing it right now. Maybe when Vic goes home we'll take the baby and the pups on a nice sunset walk before we have a glass of wine, a tasty summer shandy or maybe just a yummy cup of Rooibos tea. I hope you find the time to do something that makes you happy today!
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