Hello from San Diego!

Sorry it has been so long since I posted, we hopped on a flight to California on Monday! The trip has been great, turns out Ryker is a great flier so far. Here are a few pictures of the trip...

At the airport, he pretty much stayed in his carrier the whole trip!

At the San Diego Zoo!

Ryker with his great-great-grandma!

Five generations :) 

I'll have more once we get back to Virginia! Tomorrow we're going to Sea World! Happy Friday everyone!

Our birth story from our doula!

I mentioned earlier that we had met with Christi, our doula, yesterday for our postpartum meeting. She brought over our typed up birth story and a great book for Ryker, On the Night You Were Born. I had typed up our birth story from my perspective a few weeks ago but her version is way better, it made me cry! Ryker is three weeks old today and more adorable than ever. I have all day to hang out with him, potentially make it to the grocery store and fold some laundry and of course take a million pictures. 

I hope you enjoy the birth story :) Thank you to Christi again!

Ryker Kassel

I met your parents early on in the pregnancy.  They were so excited to go through the labor journey. We looked forward to serving them. Never did we think we would receive a call so early.  At 32 weeks while getting some last minute things for you and the nursery- your mommy felt her water break.  She called me and I encouraged her to call her Dr.   Indeed her water continued to leak and then gushed in the triage room of the hospital.  Birth never follows a perfect plan but this was as opposite of an experience as she could have hoped for.  However, your momma had armed herself with knowledge and wisdom on natural birth and waited patiently for the antibiotics and steroids to get into your system to allow you to be as strong as possible on the day of your birth. After a few days of waiting in the hospital, your mommy thought you would probably come soon, so we bumped up our prenatal meeting per her request.  We came to the hospital and learned more about your parents and how we could serve them best.  We talked through labor and what to expect.  We reminded her that small babies come fast and to call us and keep us updated along the way, once contractions started.  

At 3:30 am the next morning on May 28, 2013, I received a text that your mommy was in labor.  There was some debate among the doctors if they should allow her to continue to labor.  Your mommy knew in her heart you would be born today.  There was no stopping these contractions. I continued to text with her throughout the next hour. She was 3 cm and fully effaced and you were at -1 station. I asked her when she wanted me to head her direction and she replied around 6 am.  It was hard for me to go back to sleep.  I selfishly wanted to be there and thought about going ahead and driving there sooner.  As I was packing my bags, I received another text. Your daddy was there now and she said she needed me to come sooner-since things were quickly progressing.  I hopped in the car and drove swiftly to the hospital.  I texted that I was parking and your daddy replied, “10 cm!” I raced upstairs and entered the room full of Dr.’s and nurses.  I wished I had gotten there sooner as they were instructing her to start pushing.  Your mom was feeling pressure but had not felt an urge to push.  Pushing was hard work because of that. She pushed with all of her might but there was little movement.  The Dr. checked again and agreed we needed to wait a little while longer before we continued to push.  The room cleared out and I was so thankful!   

I heated up a rice sock and dimmed the lights. Your grandmother placed the warm compress on her back and your daddy encouraged her as she breathed through the surge and we held pressure on pressure points on her feet. She sat up in this position for another couple contractions until it was unbearable.

 I told her to get onto her hands and knees-suspecting that you weren’t in optimal position, since her back pain was over riding all other pain.  As soon as she moved into this position, she had immediate relief. I held counter pressure through the contractions.  Your grandmother held a cold washcloth on her head in between the contractions and your dad held her hand.  She was well supported!  Within two more contractions she began involuntarily pushing and I motioned your dad to get the nurse.  The team of nurses and Dr.’s came rushing in. This time there was no counting to 10 and no instructing on how to push.  You mom knew exactly what to do.  I told her to breathe and blow as your head was delivered.  The Dr.’s were wonderful about allowing her to birth you on her hands and knees.  With one more push you were born and your mom gathered herself before she turned around to see you.  Your daddy cut the cord and you were evaluated by the Dr.’s.  You were healthy but needed some extra attention so before they took you to the NICU, they handed you to your mommy for a quick hug and kiss.  It was as if time stood still.  She kissed your head and told you how much she loved you.  Then we all marveled at how fast it all happened.  

What a wonderful privilege it was to walk beside your parents as they welcomed you into this world. You are a blessed baby to have a mommy and daddy to love you and fight for you the way they did. Welcome to this world sweet baby boy. You are loved!

Love,

Christi Jones (Your Mommy’s Doula)

Keeping things interesting!

So, this is going to be a short post because I'm working with a bum hand. I made a dumb move last Friday and stabbed my left hand with our biggest knife while trying to pry burger patties across. Don't do that!! Things are always interesting in our house. Luckily, I was prying apart burgers to grill for the girl we were doing a second interview with for being Ryker's nanny. We made a gut reaction decision and threw her into a trial by fire and handed the little guy over (we were at our house) and raced off to the ER. Melani and her husband, Donny, are great and watched Ryker and also cooked the dinner I was preparing! They're pretty sweet, and totally hired :)

 

We just had our meeting with our doula, Christi. She watched me breastfeed Ryker and gave me great news and advice, apparently Ryker is pounding the breastmilk like a trooper! I didn't realize I was actually providing him plenty. Man, I feel way better! 

Here's a pic of my cutie...

Well, my left ring finger is still numb and all f'd up from the swelling from my wound so typing is a pain in the buns right now (not literally, my finger just doesn't want to move) so I'm out, I'll update you guys after the little guy's appointment on Wednesday!

Breastfeeding, something I never knew would be so frustrating!

He's home!

 We couldn't be more ecstatic about finally having our little guy home to cuddle and play with. But...having your baby in the NICU for the first two weeks is such a trick! I kept thinking to myself that we were getting to ease our way into parenthood but it totally did nothing to prepare us! I had been waking up in the middle of the night to pump which I thought would help with getting up for feedings but this whole breastfeeding thing is a whole new challenge. I think that his time in the NICU getting bottle feedings has set me up for some trouble, he really likes getting a bottle and a pacifier. The second that I get him latched on to me (which he does really well!) he falls asleep. Last night was the first night where he actually fed for a good amount of time on the one side, but by the time I got him to the right side he was out like a light. Then, as soon as I think "hmm, he's out, time to go back to bed" he wakes up and wants the rest in a bottle. 

The pediatrician wants us to continue supplementing with some formula, but mainly breastfeeding. So, what we decided is that at night he gets formula, that way we can just make a quick bottle and it takes him longer to digest. In the morning I try to breastfeed right away that way he can get it from me when I have the most. Throughout the day we try to breastfeed to get my milk to let down and then we switch to a bottle if he's just not having the nipple. 

Our second night, when we had actually devised a plan, went way better. Last night, our third night, went best! I had talked to my mom about all of this and she suggested that while I am staying at home and Vic is working that I should be the one getting up for now and then when we are both back at work we share the late night feedings. You know what? It helps! No late night frustrations or arguing because we are half awake. Then this morning, Vic got up to get ready for work and he took the baby while I get an extra hour of sleep. It was lovely! The pups crawled up in bed and we all got some cuddle time in while Vic and the baby had their time.  I was pretty stoked with how easy last night was, I think Ryker and I are starting to get into a rhythm. (It took me a million tries to spell that damn word.) 

Getting to see your big, strong husband cuddle with your tiny baby is the sweetest thing, by the way. Watching those two cuddle on the couch, or when Vic just lays him on his chest and the two catch a little cat nap is the cutest thing in the world. I feel bad for Vic because I've probably been much less than fun lately and he's been so awesome, helpful and supportive. Last night the power went out because of a thunderstorm, so he and I went to Ruby Tuesday's. We started talking about the breastfeeding stuff and I randomly started crying over my sliders and salad. Awesome right? This whole breastfeeding thing plus raging hormones has really been getting to me, which is pretty silly. I'm just one of those people that wants to try and follow through with all of my plans and not being successful at this is pretty frustrating. But Vic has been so great with telling me that no matter what we end up doing is perfect for us, we did decide that as long as I'm home from work I'm going to give the pumping/nursing thing a shot. 

Ok, enough on breastfeeding! I wish I had more to update everyone on right now but my little stinker just sleeps all day so I don't have any fun stories as of yet! He has started the funny little smiles when he farts or poops, which crack me up. He's really funny with his arms and legs too when he wakes up and realizes they are there. He waves them all over the place like "Ahhh! Limbs!" He loves being swaddled though. The zip up swaddles are amazing. We have the Summer SwaddlePods are our favorites. We can just unzip him from the bottom to change him and he stays pretty chill, if you have to totally undo him to change him he loses his mind. 

Our friends Lauren and Devin had their baby last night! And earlier this week my friend Adriana had her twin girls! So many babies for two weeks, right? Adriana's girls are preemie's like Ryker, Lauren's little boy is the only one to stick out the whole way :) It's so crazy to me to think that I'm officially at the point in my life where more of my friends have babies (and I have a baby) and we aren't planning night's out on Fridays, we'd rather just rent a movie and cook a healthy, tasty meal. Crazy how life changes! 

Speaking of healthy, tasty meals...I made a pretty good one this week. The eMeals subscription is still awesome, but sometimes I have to adjust their recipes a tad. I think we've given up on pork and quite frankly, I suck at cooking steak so either we switch it to chicken or I'm going to have to have Vic be in charge of the steak from now on. Look at how yummy this salad looks:

The salad has grilled chicken, which I marinaded with Lawry's Herb and Garlic marinade, grilled plums, grilled red onions all on spinach tossed with Balsamic Vinaigrette. Oh, and who doesn't love the biscuits from Red Lobster? When Vic and I saw them being sold at Sam's Club we snatched those up! So delicious, probably horrible for you, but so worth it! 

I apologize if this post was over the place, that's just how my brain is these days! Time to unhook my pump and make some breakfast. I've noticed that not eating really does affect my supply and remembering to eat really is harder with a baby! Time for my oatmeal with flaxseed...I've never had flaxseed before so we'll see how that goes...

 Happy Friday guys!

Tomorrow is the big day!!

The time is almost here...tomorrow Ryker gets to come home! We dropped off his car seat with the nurses at the NICU two days ago and yesterday they did his car seat test, which basically means they plopped him in the seat for an hour and a half to see if he would flip his shit and he totally rocked it. He's such a chill baby! I think the time in the NICU may have helped us out in the long run, he gets bothered by everyone so often and there are so many sounds and lights all day and he sleeps right through everything like it's nothin'!

Vic and I made what I hope is our last Babies 'R Us trip for a while. Yes, they have a good deal of baby stuff but they are expensive and tricky with those dang coupons. They also are fairly out of the way for us, so Target and Amazon are where it's at from now on. This most recent trip was to pick up some essentials for the diaper bag, a diaper trash can and some preemie diapers. 

I have no idea if I have a properly packed diaper bag, but I figure I have enough to teach me my lesson if I forgot something. Let me know if I'm missing anything...I packed:

1. Four additional outfits (probably too many, but they are so tiny that I figured hey, why not)

2. Seven or so diapers, same deal as above, they're so tiny I just put a handful in there

3. Wipes!

4. Diaper rash cream and baby powder in a zip lock

5. Burp cloths

6. Nose sucker

7. Ziploc freezer bag for anything gross that has to come home

I also carry around my pump bag that has a little cooler, a hand towel, pump and snacks for me. I should probably get a second tube of lanolin so that I don't have to keep moving the one that I have back and forth, that stuff is amazing. Speaking of pumping, things are going a bit better but I feel like my nipples are going to just up and leave. Nursing Ryker feels so much better than that damn pump! I can't wait to get him home and get most of the feedings in by nursing instead of pumping. 

After we hit up Babies 'R Us we installed the car seat and got all of Ryker's stuff set up at home. He'll be sleeping in our Chicco Lullaby play yard. Definitely the best looking play yard that I found that went with the colors and patterns of our house. We even found a cute sheet to add to it. The theme for our house and Ryker's room is pretty woodsy, so the fact that the play yard has the cutest little owls for the mobile is pretty awesome! It plays music and nature sounds (cute little bird sounds) that I'm pretty excited about too. 

As I mentioned above, we broke down and bought a diaper pail as you can see in the picture. We bought the Diaper Dekor Plus. If you look up reviews on any diaper system you'll find that they are all pretty scattered. Who knows if it will work as well as we want it to, but the refills weren't super expensive (something like 1200 diapers for 16 bucks, it has double sealing for stinkiness and it can be used as a normal trashcan at some point). We will be using it only for poopy diapers and we have it in our laundry room, which is attached to Ryker's room. I'll let you know what's up once we start using it. 

Lastly, we pulled out and plugged in our swing. I got the Graco Glider LX in Peyton which also matches our house pretty well. Yes, we're placing the kid between the TV and the bar cabinet, right where we will see him, haha. The swing is pretty light so we'll be able to move it as needed. We really like how we can just flip a switch and it starts up or stops itself. Also, it plugs in so we won't have to by stock in batteries to power it. The highest setting is pretty intense when it is empty, I'm interested to see it with Ryker inside. 

Those are our last minute preparations! The dogs are getting dropped off today to get super groomed before the baby gets here. The hospital offers the chance to room in with the baby before he gets discharged, which we could do tonight. We chose not to, mainly because neither of us wants to spend one more minute in that hospital than absolutely necessary. The second we pull up Vic gets sleepy and I get a headache. The nurses would be checking in on us and doing heart rate and feeding checks every three hours too, which doesn't seem like a very realistic way to test out being alone with your baby. Whether or not you room in he gets to come home the next day, so we decided that we would rather take advantage of one last night of sleeping at home without him waking us up and than we'll get started on life with Ryker at home on Tuesday! I think they like new parents to room in because people can be pretty nervous with the tiny NICU babies, but we're confident in our ability to chill with Ryker without breaking him and really hate feeling micromanaged. The NICU nurse told us the other day that we are the most self sufficient family that they've seen in the NICU, we try to get everything done before they can bother us while we visit him so we've been about as hands on as we can get away with.

It might be a while before I blog about having him home but I promise to keep you updated!! 

Nine days into being a Momma...

I can't believe my little wiggle monster has been out of my belly and in this world for nine whole days already. I feel like they've flown by!

Ryker has been off of his IV for two days now, his feeding tube is gone and he is getting all of his food and fluids from his bottles! Yesterday we got to try breastfeeding for the first time and he has a great latch, which was super exciting. The only not exciting part- he thinks my nipple is a pacifier. He'll latch on, suck really well for the first five minutes or so and then instantly fall asleep. As much as I would rather breast feed than pump, it's a pain not being able to know exactly how much he is getting before he knocks out. The doctors want us to have him breastfeed four times a day and then get a bottle of Enfamil Preemie formula for the other four feedings when he comes home. Did I mention that they are planning on sending him home this coming Tuesday?? That was our goal and luckily we should be able to have him home in just a few short days! Short of any apnea or other issues like that he should be completely ready to go! Yesssssssssss.

This picture is my favorite one I think, doesn't he just look like he takes his sleep so seriously? This was right after yesterday's breastfeeding sesh. I wrapped him up and practically sprinted out of the NICU. Vic only gets to visit with us for about an hour, on his lunch break from work. For the record, they've been super chill and offered him all the time we need but we are saving it up for when he his home and family is here and stuff. On the note of running out of the NICU...Vic usually has to drag me out because I'll tuck Ryker in over and over and then get stuck in massive tunnel traffic. Now that I am with him by myself for two hours after Vic leaves I have to run away from his crib the second I can convince myself he's asleep so that I don't leave him in hysterics. Ugh, I just want him home already!!

Pumping is going a little bit better. Of course in true Christina fashion I have an app that allows me to micromanage my pumping and my supply and it has shown that I have steadily increased my supply each day. However, he's getting 45 mL at each meal, and I'm getting about 200 a day, which doesn't quite add up to enough for all of his feedings. I guess the whole formula supplementation will work out, I just hate to have to do it. Oh well. 

Did I mention in my last post how absolutely necessary a hands free bra is for pumping? Absolutely life changing. Originally I was super excited about the gel soothie pads too, but then I realized that when you peel that gel stuff off your sore nipple the whole "soothing" aspect is out the window. That and the fact that they are way expensive makes them suck, so...they are no more. 

Tomorrow I've got to remember to bring in our car seat so that the NICU nurses can test Ryker in it, I guess they put him in the car seat and have him hang out for an hour or so in it so that they can make sure he'll be good for the ride home. Kinda random, but I'll do whatever they want at this point as long as it gets him home soon. Good thing I got the Chicco Keyfit right? When we were shopping around I felt like it might be a good idea to get the one that was rated best for even the smallest babies and alas, I have a teeny baby. (He's 4 lbs, 10 ounces now!)

On the postpartum fitness note, I'm going out of my mind trying to listen to doctor's orders about not getting back to the gym yet. I've been walking the dogs in the mornings. On Monday I ran a mile, which felt great but my lovely doulas let me know that I was crazy and to stop that so I did my best to chill out the last few days. Today I got on the treadmill with the intention of speed walking/hiking and may have accidentally jogged a half mile or so, whoops! I just miss running so much! I think I am going to sign up for the Great American Mud Run at the end of the month, it will put me at 5 weeks or so post partum and I have full confidence that I will be totally fine. I'm pretty stoked. I ran the GAMR in November with Vic just a few days before I found out I was pregnant with Ryker!

The picture below is from this morning, I plan on doing like a backwards belly pic and track my progress back to where I was in October when I got pregnant!

Nine days Postpartum

You know what is so not cool? All of my tops from pre pregnancy are still too tight, so I've been rocking my maternity tee shirts that don't have any elastic on the side or whatever to try and not look like I have this crazy muffin top. Well, maternity clothes are really good at emphasizing that cute little bump. In the hospital elevator on the way to the NICU, same floor as the Labor and Delivery unit and the OB/GYN, this guy sweetly asks me when I am due to have my baby. EPIC FAIL. I almost burst into crazy tears. He felt really bad, as evident by his mortified face, when I told him I had just had Ryker last week. Motivation to eat a little healthier and walk a little longer? I think so. 

Tomorrow is Friday, which is almost the weekend which is so close to Monday which is next to Tuesday which is when I get to bring my baby home!!!!! I've never wished for a Tuesday so much before :) 

He's doing so good!!

We couldn't be happier with Ryker's progress. We went today and found out that the bottle feeds are going so well that they are going to up him to three a day. Once that number gets to eight a day he is officially free of having to have the silly line in his nose/mouth that they feed him through. They leave it there so that they don't have to rerun it if needed. He hates it, he tries to pull it out every time we are there, but it seems like it is more of a nuisance than anything more serious than that to him. 

They also may be moving him to his crib tonight and out of the incubator! They put him in this funny little outfit for now to see how he does. It's huge on him, can you tell?! I'll have to see what size it is, because if it's a 0-3 month, we're screwed on clothes, haha. We have a ton of stuff from Kohl's and Babies R' Us that we get every time they have a good sale on Carter's baby clothes. That stuff is everywhere, cute and cheap. Love it. 

Besides the fact that he is making great progress, there isn't much more to say! We got to play with him for a while today and I got to bottle feed him. He's so funny because he just knocks out as soon as I hold him and if he gets fussy he likes to be buried in our chests where I can't see his little face anymore. I swear that his eyes are a dark blue, but Vic says they are grey. I know babies eyes change and we won't know the color for a while, but I'm going to keep crossing my fingers for blue. Dark hair, blue eyes? Adorable! 

Pumping is going a little bit better today, I know it is a work in progress but it is definitely hard to try and only focus on the positive sometimes. I'm starting to wonder if I have scar tissue from my boob job a few years ago that is making my right express a few mL's less than the left every time. I've always liked my right one better, I'm sure that's odd, but it's always seemed more full and upright and I think that might be because of the scar tissue. As long as it doesn't lag too far behind it shouldn't be too bad. I'm getting about 20-25 mL's a pump right now, which is exactly what they are feeding him. Of course, they'll probably up him past that now that I can pump it and I'll be in what seems like an endless game of catch up. I know, I know, it'll come in, keep pumping..I'm not totally bummed on it, it just seems like such a big task! I'm determined though, so even if I may whine a bit I am going to breast feed this kid whatever I can get for as long as I can get it. I'll just think of the $16.99 that a can of preemie Enfamil costs to motivate me to get more milk. 

On the note of pumping...I have the Medela Freestyle Advanced which is pretty amazing. I used the Medela Symphony in the hospital and than my insurance sent me home with a PJ's Comfort hospital grade pump that I used the first night at home. Maybe I screwed myself and if I was using the PJ's Comfort hospital grade pump I would be getting more, but that thing hurt like a bitch. Not very good for the whole relaxation factor. The Medela has nine different settings and the flanges don't collapse in, destroying my nipple like the PJ's did. We bought the hands free bra for the Medela this week and that thing is the shit. All of a sudden I was able to actually function while I pump. It's awesome! I quickly let my girlfriend Lauren (who is at the end of her pregnancy) know that she should get one ASAP. It was that life changing.

We're also pretty obsessed with our Boon Grass drying rack. It can be found here. 

This looks so cute on our counter and it works so well for all of the breast pump parts and bottles. We even went ahead and got two! We also have the twig and flower accessories. This might be one of my favorite purchases! We learned about it while reading Little Baby Garvin's blog, you should totally check it out! Between her and the author's of Lucie's List and Pregnant Chicken I've been able to get everything I need and feel pretty confident in my purchases. So far everything that those wonderful ladies have suggested has been awesome. 

Well, somehow it has already been an hour and a half since my last pump, which means I'm coming up on the end of the shortest two hours ever. It's amazing how time can go by so fast once you have something to do every two hours! Tomorrow I'm going to try and get my first little workout in, it's obviously going to be a pretty mellow attempt, but I'm determined to give it a shot. I feel pretty great, I'm just a little bit aware of having a few stitches. I'll let you know how it goes! 

First Saturday Morning of Parenthood

Ryker is doing so well! The NICU is open almost 24/7, except for shift changes and from 9 am to noon, so we have set up a plan to visit every day at noon. He gets his feedings at 2 pm, so we get to do some kangaroo care and feed him now. We went yesterday and found out that he is taking his feedings so well (which go through a little tube down to his belly) that they are actually upping his food intake as well as trying a bottle! Last night was supposed to be the first bottle attempt. If it went well than today we will get to try and do the bottle feeding at 2 and then the nurse said we will get to try and see if he will latch on for breast feeding. They also mentioned that he is doing so well with the feedings, breathing and maintaining body temperature that he might get moved to a crib soon and lose the IV. Yay for a baby that isn't hooked to four million cords! The IV makes me so nervous, I don't want to hold him in the wrong position and have the tiny little needle hurt him. But, it seems like he may be moving away from that soon. That almost makes me cry just typing it, I'm so proud of him! 

We really need to find a stuffed Chelsea, so that we can add her to the stuffed Sam that we have staying with him! (Auntie Liz, get on that!!)

Yesterday's visit was a little bittersweet. While everything with Ryker is going great, the nurse seemed a little concerned about my breast milk supply. I've been pumping since the day he was born and bringing it to them, they supplement my supply with a high protein formula so that he can grow as much as possible. I figured that it had to be normal to only be getting so little, Vic's been reminding stressed out me that I'm a premature mother, so I have premature milk. Well, our nurse brought over another NICU nurse that happens to be a lactation consultant who actually asked if I may have a thyroid problem that is preventing my milk from coming in. After I answered no to that she asked if I was eating and drinking, to which I answered yes. I've been eating my oatmeal, which is supposed to help. My water intake is fantastic. Next, she asked if I was stressed. I said no, Vic vigorously nodded yes and the nurse was like "ahh, that's it then." It's a little hard to not stress when people tell you to stop stressing. Now I'm stressing about stressing, which by the way, is a hobby of mine. My whole life I have been the most stressed out person I know. 

The good news is, I'm also extremely motivated by being told that I'm not doing the best at something, so I pumped right after that conversation and I got more in that one session than I did the whole day prior. I've been consistently pumping since and things are getting better, today I'll be able to bring him a little over two ounces! I tried to make sure that I was up at least once every four hours last night to pump and of course I slept right through my alarm, but I woke up at the six hour mark because my boobs were so sore. I'm taking that as a good sign that they are getting full! 

So in summary, today I get to not only go hold my delicious little boy but I might get to actually feed him from my breast. He loves to be all snuggled up against our chests. Vic held him skin to skin yesterday for almost an hour and he just curls up into a little ball and snuggles his face into our chests. If you try to lay him flat on you he gets pissed and curls back into a ball. Vic pointed out that he kind of smells like the noodles in a box of mac and cheese before you cook them, so he's my little noodle now :) Oh, I can't wait to go see him today!! It's time to pump again, this every two hours thing sneaks up on me fast. I'll keep you guys posted on how today goes!